i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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