you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
