am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
