just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
