You smell like a Billy Joel song
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
