# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am naked and annoyed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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