It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
