That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im holly from the hills drunk
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
