You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
