I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
