I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
