apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
