I wannas sexs uuuuu
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
