I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
