he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
