she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
