Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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