Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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