Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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