I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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