I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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