Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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