not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
