Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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