So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
barbara walters just said penis...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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