Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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