You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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