Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Randomize
