Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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