Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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