sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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