If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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