dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
