Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
