I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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