Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
