Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
