i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize