did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
nutella sex= disaster
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
