So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
