i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
