She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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