i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
