I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
