I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
