Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
