You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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