So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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