nut hugger
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
