So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
